


and i’ll say it doesn’t matter, as my heart beats faster, and you press your lips to mine (i’ve always been good at lying to myself, my dear)

by ffslynch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, lots of Schrödinger’s cat metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffslynch/pseuds/ffslynch
Summary: Kuroo and Iwaizumi have developed the perfect sort of relationship where they get the nice physical, without the commitments of an actual relationship.(and if they sometimes cuddle instead of having sex, or just talk for hours an end, and if they have the key to each others place and spend more time together than not, it doesn't really mean anything)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	and i’ll say it doesn’t matter, as my heart beats faster, and you press your lips to mine (i’ve always been good at lying to myself, my dear)

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for HQ rare pair week because Iwakuroo is an amazing underrated ship and I'll die for it.   
> Also lowkey always wanted to write something with friends with benefits because I find it such an interesting type of interaction, tho I'm not sure I pulled off lmao. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, as always, a huge thank you to [twitter](https://twitter.com/jeIIyfics) for beta reading this for me! Don't forget to check her [works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfic) (also pss: she's accepting commissions)!!

There are many concepts in life that are both a truth and a lie at the same time. 

The sky is blue - except for when it’s pink, yellow and purple during the sun’s transitional period. 

Two bodies can not occupy the same space - except in the case of one being inside the other, such as pregnancy.

The cat inside Schrödinger’s box is dead - except that it might be alive. 

Kuroo is not sure when or how it started - except he sort of does.

_____

Kuroo prides himself in being able to read people. It’s an ability that comes as a result of his younger self’s inability to actually reach out and talk to other humans, leaving him to learn the nuances of what they might say or how they might react to Kuroo himself. As a child, his shyness made him an intense people watcher, terrified of speaking up and taking part in conversation even though he desperately wanted to sometimes. 

As he grows older, and more confident, it becomes easier to apply his observations and theories into practice - which is how Kuroo learns that he is actually good at understanding humans and predicting their reactions. Years of experience not only made him an expert in Kenma’s facial expressions and knowing the most appropriate moment to ask him to set an extra hand for him, but also good at noticing the best moment to ask his teachers to possibly round up his grade, or when to ask his grandparents for money. He almost always knows which buttons to push, and which comments to make to either rile people up or calm them down, depending on which end result he desires to achieve. Kuroo is good at reading people. However, that does not mean there are no exceptions that challenge his abilities. It’s rare, but it happens - and when it does, Kuroo can never really stop thinking about it.

He is only 14 the first time he runs into Oikawa Tooru in a volleyball camp, and boy - oh boy, isn’t he something. Oikawa is an open book to anyone who actually pays attention close enough to see through the cracks on the confident mask he wears. Eager, teasing, flirty and extremely ambitious, Oikawa reeks of both inferiority and superiority complex even at such a young age. Kuroo thinks he might be the easiest person to read he has met yet. 

His best friend and hound dog, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.

Kuroo has no idea what to make of Iwaizumi Hajime. He has a constant scowl on his face, and his voice seems to be eternally annoyed. He is quick to scold his best friend, but even quicker to growl at anyone who threatens to hurt him. Iwaizumi seems like a brute, someone who might be scary at least, but the way his kohais follow him with puppy eyes, filled with trust and admiration, tell Kuroo differently. 

Iwaizumi is confusing, and Kuroo has no idea what exactly he’s dealing with. He looks angry, like a ticking bomb about to go off at any second. At the same time, he really doesn’t seem to care about what anyone else thinks about him at all. Kuroo has no idea what to make of it - a part of him wants to fall on his usual routine of trying to rile him up, just to get a reaction, but he’s pretty sure Iwaizumi will just scoff at him regardless of what he says. It’s frustrating but undeniably enticing. It only makes Kuroo want to know him better, more, to understand how to get under his skin. 

They met each other a handful of times, from middle school to the very end of high school, in different games and training camps, Oikawa and Kuroo knocking heads and the eternal presence of Iwaizumi luring around, pushing Kuroo away and drawing him in simultaneously. He relaxes more with time, getting used to Kuroo’s presence, his stupid smile and taunting behaviour. Kuroo even manages to make Iwaizumi laugh once or twice, and he brags until he gets threatened or ignored again. He counts it as a win, regardless.

Oikawa and Kuroo end up getting closer, thanks to countless events both were obligated to attend as captains. They find common ground in bigger dreams and annoying teammates and this deep, churning need inside their chests to be something - to do something that stays, even when their names would be lost in history. Kuroo finds he likes Oikawa, annoying nicknames and random chattiness and all, making him a somewhat permanent fixture on his list of ‘contacts recently messaged’. 

And that is how Kuroo ends up at Seijoh’s unofficial graduation party - which is a fancy way to call a bunch of seniors who somehow got hold of alcohol. 

He doesn’t go alone, Bokuto is right there with him being as loud and excited as ever, and it doesn’t take a lot for them to hop into conversations with the rest of the third years, Iwaizumi included. It doesn’t really take long either for Kuroo and him to fall into their usual behaviour - Kuroo doing his best to win a reaction, and Iwaizumi refusing to give in. It goes on and on, helped by drink after drink. Eventually, they’re left practically alone in a corner, the rest of their friends either dancing or drinking or indulging in stupid behaviour that recent graduates do. Iwaizumi sighs and rolls his eyes. It’s almost 2 am, he’s tired and drunk and Kuroo’s is relentless.

“What will it take to make you shut up, Kuroo-San?” He asks, voice dragged and venous - Kuroo smirks, seeing an opportunity.

“Well, well, well, that depends, Iwaizumi-San. What are you willing to give me?” 

“Literally anything that will keep your mouth too busy to talk” Iwaizumi mutters, thinking about the fast-food shop with heavenly burgers two blocks away from them. He wonders if they’re still open, or how long it will take for them to open again. His mind snaps back to reality when he feels hot air hitting the side of his neck, the ghost of a laugh too close to him. He looks to the side to find Kuroo’s face only a few centimetres away, lips pulled in a smirk and eyes dark with alcohol and unsaid feelings. 

“Is that an offer?” Kuroo asks, eyebrow raised, and Iwaizumi scoffs but doesn’t say no. Because it would be a gross lie to call Kuroo unattractive, and even if he’s not a huge fan of the hair or the need to rile people up, the way he is able to dominate the court is always wonderful to watch - and his eyes... Kuroo’s eyes are probably Iwaizumi’s favourite part of him. Warm and bright and so intense - and they are set on him, waiting for a reaction.

“What if it is?” He replies, burger forgotten. Kuroo laughs, that heinous noise he makes, and Iwaizumi is already half regretting his own boldness when he feels his lips ghosting over his.

“Well then, that’s an offer I can’t refuse” Kuroo says and kisses him. 

It’s messy, with way too much saliva and the sloppiness of inexperienced drunk teenagers. But it’s also hot. So very hot, it goes on for hours, with roaming hands and both of them refusing to let go. Iwaizumi lets the clock tick by and the hours pass, until they eventually get interrupted by the sun rising and a very drunk Oikawa and Bokuto giggling while informing them that it’s time to go home. 

Kuroo places one last sloppy kiss on his skin, right in the place where his neck ends and shoulder starts, and gets up, all wobbly and dizzy. Iwaizumi stays put for 5 more seconds, catching his breath as the world slowly goes back to focus. When he looks up, Kuroo is halfway through the door, leaning on Bokuto but looking back at him. He winks, and Iwaizumi thinks ‘bastard’ even though he can’t help but smile back. 

That’s the first, but not the last time it happens. Volleyball has this magic pull to it that keeps creating unlikely friendships and almost unbreakable bonds in between people, even when they are on opposite sides of a court or outside of one for a long time. 

Iwaizumi and Kuroo meet each other again and again on different occasions, and almost always ends up in similar fashion - with stolen kisses and sneaky hands, in dark corners or bathroom stalls where no one will see them. It’s fun, and it doesn’t mean anything which makes it even better. There’s no worry about ruining their friendship, cause really they’re not even that good of friends. They like each other, of course - Kuroo admires Iwaizumi’s ambition and hard work, and while Iwaizumi hates to admit, he actually thinks Kuroo is pretty funny and smart - but they wouldn’t call each other ‘close’ or anything of the sort. So the set up is perfect: the physical touch feels good, and when they are not kissing the conversation is pleasant enough, but the feelings and caring part is not affected enough to create any stress. Kuroo likes to think of it as the Schrödinger’s cat situation, something that is, but isn’t at the same time. It’s a pattern, something reliable that they both find themselves looking forward to while also not holding it over their heads with worries or stress. It’s fun, and they always feel good, but it means nothing, obviously. And that’s what makes the arrangement in itself flawless. The perfect unofficial contract.

____

It’s a deal they don’t even realize they have settled in until three years after their first kiss, in California. Kuroo has the opportunity of travelling there for a two-week congress for his marketing major, and he and Iwaizumi had been texting on and off the weeks before his travel date. They meet back at Iwaizumi’s small apartment at the end of the day, with Kuroo exhausted and slightly sweaty in his semiformal suit, and Iwaizumi with bags under his eyes from finals week. But, regardless of the bone-deep tiredness they both have, neither of them can’t help but smile. Even if they were not the closest of friends, they were still tokens of familiarity and intimacy to each other, something that becomes increasingly difficult to find the more you grow up. Iwaizumi loves Irvine, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss Japan, the sound of the familiar language, and the faces of other boys who grew up with him. And Kuroo, he is just breaching out. Constantly trying to go further and farther in life, expanding his circle and knowledge. He never stops moving, but even if he wanted to his brain would never let him, constantly racing through possibilities and what if’s and could have’s. He is glad to have the opportunity of being in a congress so young, to be recognized enough to go and present his work, and just be surrounded by so many people filled with knowledge in his field of choice. It doesn’t make it any less terrifying. 

So, it’s good to be in the presence of a familiar face, of a familiar smell. They both shower, one after the other, and Iwaizumi drags Kuroo out to try his favourite Mexican street food, because he has to. Kuroo tells him about the rest of Nekoma, Fukurodani and Karasuno, and what he knows from other teams that they both faced. Iwaizumi drinks up the information, letting himself fill up with the images of his equals in court and people he had met in parties and celebrations.

In turn, Iwazumi tells Kuroo about Seijoh, and then about the differences between the USA life that he lives and the one that they see on TV in movies. He talks about work and language barriers, and how lonely it is sometimes but how happy he is, and how he wouldn’t change a thing. 

They both whine and complain about college classes and exams and being best friends with ambitious people who always seem to be so far ahead of them. They talk about missing volleyball, and about how not going pro was the right decision for the both of them as well. 

As the night progresses, they slowly walk back home. There’s a chilly wind in the air that messes Kuroo’s hair, and Iwaizumi laughs at him when he almost walks into a pole. Kuroo pushes his hair back slightly annoyed, but feels his heart tighten a little as he watches Iwaizumi laugh at him. He hadn’t considered how gorgeous Iwaizumi looked until that moment, thinking that maybe the cat that represented whatever it was that he and Iwaizumi had, had been dead in the box, abandoned since the end of high school and their eventual moves into adulthood. But they’re in California, all the way across from Japan, and neither of them are dating anyone and probably still too tired and busy to even consider doing it. Things had barely changed in that sense, so maybe this thing in between them didn’t have to change as well.

So after they drag themselves into the apartment, after drinking water and brushing their teeth, Kuroo makes his move. Iwaizumi tells him goodnight, and is ready to turn around and go to his bedroom when Kuroo holds him by the wrist.

“Hey,” he whispers, approaching, a hand tentatively touching Iwaizumi’s face.

“Oh,” Iwaizumi says, eyes wide. To Kuroo’s surprise, he thinks he might be spotting some sort of blush on Iwaizumi’s tan face “I didn’t… I didn’t think we were doing anything tonight.”

“Oh, sorry,” Kuroo says, dropping, thinking that maybe he was wrong and things had changed after all. Maybe the cat had been dead and buried all along. “I thought, maybe… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed, I…” he starts scrambling, already embarrassed by the whole ordeal and thinking that maybe he should find a hotel tomorrow.his train of thought is already derailing a mile per minute when he gets interrupted by Iwaizumi’s voice.

“Hey” he says, snapping Kuroo back to reality - because growing up with Oikawa he had been trained his whole life to spot a mind that is going too fast for his own good “I didn’t say no. I just didn’t think you’d want it.”

“Oh!” It’s Kuroo’s turn to exclaim. He gulps and licks his lips, trying to find in himself how to be smooth or suave or anything like that. God, how was he better at this as a teenager? “I want to. Definitely.” He says, and Iwaizumi chuckles at him and Kuroo would muster up some sort of embarrassment, but he quickly comes to the conclusion that he would rather be kissing Iwaizumi instead.

So he does.

And it feels as good as it felt in high school, now that the both of them have a little more experience under their belts, and a little more courage under their hands.

Kuroo spends two wonderful weeks, and doesn’t sleep on the sofa once. And he goes back home thinking how great it is to have someone that is such a good friend, and kisses so well and that it’s fine that he knows this information because it doesn’t mean anything. 

____

Iwaizumi moves back to Japan, to Tokyo this time, and it takes a whole month for him and Kuroo to actually meet up again, both busy with endless lists of adulthood responsibilities and priorities, such as moving and furniture shopping and jobs and groceries. Real life tends to get in the way like that.

When they finally see each other again, it’s at Iwaizumi's official ‘Welcome Back’ party, organized by the rest of Seijoh (with the special directory of a very stern Oikawa through video calls and incessant texting). 

Iwaizumi doesn’t cry or gets easily emotional in public. But feeling the warmth that comes with being part of a community, the warmth of having friends that still showed up for him even if they hadn’t seen one another in four years, makes his voice get a little crooked and stuck on his throat. 

He gets almost passed around through the hands of his friends, being hugged and having his hair huffed and face squeezed by the ones that have known him the longest and have confidence enough in themselves to know that they can do this without being punched in the face right after. Kuroo is one of them, of course. He presses Iwaizumi’s face in between his two large hands, grinning at him with his bright smile as always, and when he approaches Iwaizumi’s breath hitches, suddenly convinced that Kuroo is going to kiss him right there in front of everyone. 

He doesn’t - well, he does, but not like Iwaizumi expected. Kuroo plants a wet, noisy kiss on his forehead, before pressing Iwaizumi’s head against his chest and declaring with a false crying voice that ‘The child has come back home’. Iwaizumi only lightly punches him in the stomach, and although Kuroo still loses his ability to breath, he is laughing hard 5 minutes later, so Iwaizumi assumes there was no real damage. Iwaizumi does his best to hide his own laughter, and the way Kuroo winks at him tells him he isn’t being too convincing, but it doesn’t matter, not really. Kuroo has seen far too much of him by now, he’s allowed to know that sometimes Iwaizumi thinks he’s funny. 

The night goes on, with Iwaizumi’s attention being hopped by different high school friends, until he spots Kuroo again later on. He’s sitting on the floor, in the living room, with Kenma in between his legs, his head hooked over Kenma’s shoulder and arms around the boy’s waist. They look cosy. Close. Maybe too close. Iwaizumi thinks that maybe he’s been far away for too long, and maybe Kuroo has changed his policy on relationships. He thinks of their moment earlier in the night and blushes at his own reaction, thinking that Kuroo was about to kiss him. Of course, he wouldn’t do that - he apparently has a boyfriend, and even if he didn’t, what they had had never been something serious enough to result in public displays of affection. Iwaizumi takes a sip of his drink and turns his back to Kuroo, focusing on his other friends. They don’t really get the chance to talk again the rest of the night.

The next morning, however, Iwaizumi wakes up to a text from Kuroo.

[Kuroo: Come over for breakfast!]

[Kuroo: I saw your pantry last night, I know you have no food lol]

[Kuroo: C’mon Iwaizumi, no point in fighting. You know I make the best coffee anyway]

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes at the messages, but Kuroo does have a few points. His pantry is fairly empty, and Kuroo does make coffee.

And so, he finds himself at Kuroo’s kitchen, just an hour later, chuckling at the pictures from last night of his friends in different states of undressed but all with no dignity whatsoever, while Kuroo pours him a drink. 

“Congratulations on the relationship, by the way,” Iwaizumi tells him, his lips touching the mug as he sips on the drink. Kuroo looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you talking about?” he asks, and Iwaizumi looks at him, his own face pulled into a slightly confused frown. When he notices that Kuroo seems to truly be unaware of it, Iwaizumi simply shrugs. 

“You looked pretty cosy with Kenma yesterday,” he points out. “So I assumed there was more to it,” he says, and Kuroo laughs - the same hell-sent laugh that made Iwaizumi want to kiss him the first time ages ago. 

“Oh god, no. Me and Kenma? Never!” He tells him in between laughs. “I can’t believe you thought that. C’mon Iwaizumi, you’re smarter than that, Kenma is like a brother to me. Plus, you know I have no time for relationships,” he adds, and Iwaizumi shrugs again, trying to act unbothered. How would he know? He had been away for a while, it had been a while too since he had been around the two best friends, and it was perfectly possible for Kuroo to be in a relationship with someone. He looks up and comes to the conclusion that maybe his neutral unbothered face had been failing him, cause Kuroo is staring at him with the worst Cheshire like smirk plastered on his face.

“Were you jealous?” Kuroo asks, wiggling his eyebrows, and Iwaizumi scoffs. 

“Of course not.” He says vehemently, but Kuroo is still smirking at him like he doesn’t believe him for even a second - and  _ God _ , at that moment Iwaizumi decides that he hates Kuroo. He hates Kuroo and that stupid smile so much, all he wants is to erase it from his face. And so he does. 

“Are you su-” Kuroo asks, approaching, the same teasing tone lacing his words, but he gets brutally interrupted by Iwaizumi’s lips being pressed against his. Kuroo holds back a laugh in favour of kissing him back. 

In the back of his head, as Iwaizumi’s hand works on the buttons of his shirt, Kuroo knows that this is probably an interaction that he should think over more. That Iwaizumi being jealous or slightly uncomfortable to some degree means that this is something. That there is something to be jealous or protective over. And he doesn’t quite like that his own reaction had been to firstly be flattered by the possible jealousy, and then immediately brush it aside, because he didn’t want Iwaizumi to worry about that. Because Kuroo wasn’t in a relationship, or looking for one, and he really, really didn’t want Iwaizumi to think he was or had been kissing someone else that wasn’t him. But it shouldn’t mean anything. Their relationship is not a thing, and this should be simple, and the cat-

Kuroo would love to give more thought to the cat, but Iwaizumi’s tongue on his neck is too distracting. And he shouldn’t even think too much about it anyway - it doesn’t really mean anything, after all. 

___

After that, it’s easy for them to quickly fall back into their old pattern - the official unofficial relationship, the cat in the box coming to life. They’re both just starting their adult lives, and that means being both so very busy and so very in the look for company during lonely nights. But Iwaizumi hates making small talk just for the sake of having sex and Kuroo is so stressed on a daily basis that he really can’t afford time trying to flirt or seduce anyone.

So he always texts Iwaizumi, and the other man always comes through. It comes to a point where Iwaizumi finds himself sleeping at Kuroo’s most nights of the week. Which isn’t all that bad for Iwaizumi, in all honesty. After all, Kuroo does make the best coffee, it wakes him right up in the morning, and his place is way closer to Iwaizumi’s work than his own apartment. It’s not bad to Kuroo either, having another warm body in his bed at night, and someone who shares the tasks of dishes and groceries most nights. And they get along so well too - Kuroo had to impose the rule that they can’t watch movies after 7 pm because they both start talking about it and get into way too heated debates, that can go on for hours at an end, and they end up not sleeping. 

Some other nights they barely sleep as well, but for different reasons, and neither of them complain about that either. 

There’s this sense of intimacy, of familiarity that becomes always present - the smell of coffee, the background noise of typing in their computers in the same room, the warmth of the contact of skin to skin under the sheets as the moon goes up high and then low, as the sun rises. It’s all small things that make it into their routine, making it more alive, something with more structure. 

One Sunday afternoon, Iwaizumi is leaving to go back to his own place when Kuroo clears his throat, hesitantly. 

“So, uh,” he starts, fumbling with something in his pocket. “It’s not like you’re moving in but here are the keys to my place, so you can have, uh, easier access,” he says, pushing the small metal object onto Iwaizumi’s hands. Iwaizumi looks at it and then up. Kuroo gulps and starts explaining himself, “Well, I was just thinking about last week, how you got home with groceries, and I was stuck in traffic and couldn’t open the door for you and you had to wait out here... And also, you know, sometimes I travel, but you still should get to be closer to your workplace and drink some decent coffee before leaving, you know?” He adds, chuckling nervously. 

Iwaizumi just stands there, staring at the key. Eventually he holds it close in his hand, before clearing his throat and nodding. He mumbles a thank you, and smiles at Kuroo - and the other man seems to be the embodiment of relief as he smiles back. Iwaizumi turns around to leave, but actually comes back and gives Kuroo a quick but strong kiss, with a small smile playing in between, before turning around and leaving. Kuroo watches him, a smile on his own face, before going back in and closing the door. He prefers not to think about the live status of the cat, and how much giving a key is a sign of attachment, a proof that there is something there, real and alive. 

___

  
  


They’re at a party, drunk out of their minds. There’s loud music, and Bokuto just got married, and nothing matters except the fact they’re having fun and feeling good. 

Or at least they should be. Kuroo should be having a good time, but instead he’s slumped on one of the chairs, watching as Iwaizumi dances on the floor, with Miya Atsumu’s hands on his hips and mouth dangerously close to his face. 

Kuroo thinks to himself: “It doesn’t mean anything”. He remembers poking fun of Iwaizumi for feeling jealous years ago, and sees himself as the clown now. He thinks that he is being stupid and that he shouldn’t be feeling like this. What they have is nothing serious, and Iwaizumi has the right to flirt and be with whomever he likes. 

Kuroo thinks that maybe he should let the cat die. Just forget about it and go do his own thing.

But he had never been the best at letting go, so he pours his drink down his throat, stands up and marches straight into the dance floor. He gets closer, and smirks at the Miya twin, excusing the both of them as he pulls Iwaizumi away from the dance floor and in the direction of the bathrooms.

Iwaizumi looks at him confused at first, his face covered in the same shade of red as it had been in California, years ago. And then Iwaizumi realizes where they’re going and his eyes go dark. Kuroo smirks. 

He pushes Kuroo into a bathroom stall, hands already rushing through the buttons of his shirt, mouth warm on his.

“Hajime” Kuroo whispers, savouring the name, heavy on his tongue. Iwaizumi whimpers, his voice covering the sound of flies being undone. 

Maybe the cat is dead. Maybe it isn’t. Kuroo doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care. All that matters is Iwaizumi’s - Hajime’s voice in his ear as he mouths on his neck and shoulder blade.

"Kuroo doesnt know how he ended up in this situation, or when it happened. His mind throws him flashbacks of this same occurrence repeating itself again and again through his teens and early 20’s, and how, somewhere in between, these memories got watered down and covered by other situations, with no sex whatsoever that look way more like companionship, like actual couples than anything else - and it’s terrifying. It’s everything he said it wouldn’t be, and he can’t help but be confused about how it grew into this thing, how they got there in the first place.

Hajime whispers “Tetsurou” as his hands dips inside Kuroo’s trousers, and his breath hitches.

Kuroo feels like a teenager again - in a bathroom stall, convincing himself that this is not important, even when his body screams that it is.

But it’s ok. It’s just the alcohol in his blood. This doesn’t matter anyway. 

___

“You should come over,” Kuroo says, balancing the phone in between his ear and shoulder, focusing on the vegetables he’s cutting. 

“Hm? Is everything ok?” Iwaizumi asks, somehow seeing right through him, even on a phone call. Kuroo sighs, hating that he has got to know him so well.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” He says before forcing out a chuckle. “Is 'I want to see you' not a good reason?” he asks, and Iwaizumi hums, agreeing even though he doesn’t seem convinced at all. 

Truth was - Kuroo was not having a good day or even a good week for that matter. Work had been extremely stressful for the past week, his bosses breathing down his neck and the new brand that they were collaborating with made the whole process extremely painful and hard in the negotiation. His mother had called him earlier, and berated him as usual - sometimes Kuroo thought she had been born with the inability to say something nice. He was worried about Kenma, who had been dealing with an increasing amount of overbearing fans that made him anxious and were overly critical of his work - and it frustrated Kuroo to no end that there was nothing he could do to help, to protect his friend.

All in all, Kuroo was just stressed, and exhausted. He just wanted to spend some time with Iwaizumi, someone with whom he can have good conversation, and share good food and that can, later in the night, just touch him in all the right places and take him out of his mind so he can relax. 

Yeah, a good night of physical activity is definitely the only thing he needs. This will be good to shut off his brain.

Iwaizumi comes over not long after, and Kuroo is on him immediately, kissing his neck and slipping off his jacket before he can even put his bag down. Iwaizumi kisses him back just as hard, but gently pulls him off, puts his things away, hangs his jacket properly and then pulls Kuroo into the kitchen, and not the bedroom.

Throughout the whole night, things move in slow motion. Iwaizumi cooks for him, and they eat while Kuroo rants and pours out all of his stress. Iwaizumi listens to him, and then does the dishes, telling Kuroo to just lay on the couch while he finishes everything. After, they move into the bathroom as Iwaizumi takes his clothes off and then pushes Kuroo into the shower, kissing his shoulders as he washes his hair. In the bedroom, after they have both dried off, he lays Kuroo in bed and massages his back and legs, whispering sweet nothing's in his ear, telling Kuroo that he did a good job and that he can relax now. And it feels so good to be taken care of, that the loud sirens of worry and anxiety in Kuroo’s brain slowly turn into a white noise, a buzzing of sorts. But it’s still not enough - Kuroo still wants something that he can’t quite name, there’s this feeling under his skin that something is missing. 

“Hajime, please,” he whispers, pulling Iwaizumi’s shirt and the man laughs before lowering down and kissing him. Kuroo feels himself calm down under the physical touch, the affirmation that he is there and that he wants Kuroo too.

Items of clothing get thrown away, and the temperature gets heated as they move forward and dive into each other. Iwaizumi is sitting on his lap, and he whispers Kuroo’s first name into his ear and Kuroo shivers, his brain fully stopping with the word ‘mine’ in bright neon lights.

Oh.

This is it, isn’t it? Kuroo is in for way more than he had initially bargained for.

The moment he realizes what’s going on, the truth he has been denying himself for months now, Kuroo freezes, his body stopping to move completely. Iwaizumi pulls away and stares at him with worry and confusion in his eyes.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks, and Kuroo immediately shakes his head, denying.  
“No,” he says, but Iwaizumi doesn’t move again and neither does he. Lying is pointless, and Kuroo knows. Whatever this is, it has to have a name. The cat is either dead or alive, and Kuroo can’t really handle another moment without knowing for sure what’s the outcome of it. “Yes.” he says, with a sigh, and Iwaizumi caresses his face.

“What is it?” he asks, voice patient and soft, and Kuroo almost wants to cry because he is so good, and he is about to ask for this to have a name and there’s a 50% possibility that it will be a ‘no’. That Hajime will tell him that the cat is dead - and has always been. That this doesn’t matter at all to him. 

“I’m tired, Hajime,” he admits, head falling back. “I’m tired of hooking up, and telling people I’m single, and having to pretend I’m open to dating other people,” he mutters. Iwaizumi watches him, raising an eyebrow.

“What do you mean by that?” He asks, even though he is pretty sure he knows the truth. They had been dancing around it for a while. Kuroo opens his eyes, stares right into Iwaizumi’s eyes.

“I think it’s time to open the box.” Kuroo says, and Iwaizumi looks at him like he is insane. Kuroo chuckles, humourlessly. “I think it’s time for us to stop pretending that this means nothing. How long have we even been doing this? We’re 25, we’re too old for this ‘casual thing’. I need… I need us to give a name to this. A status, or something.” He admits, sitting up straight. “You don’t… We don’t have to be an official couple or anything like that, if that’s not what you want, if you don’t feel like that about me. But I’m tired of this ‘friends with benefits that means nothing’ type of thing. I want something serious.” Kuroo says, swallowing dry. Iwaizumi stares at him, blinking, before smirking.

“Is this your way of asking me to be your boyfriend, Tetsu?” Iwaizumi asks and Kuroo chokes a little.

“I mean, yes, I guess. If you’d like that…” he starts, eyes stuck on the floor until Iwaizumi touches his chin, lifting his head up.

“Hey,” he whispers, a soft smile on his face “Yes. I’d like to be your boyfriend, you idiot,” Iwaizumi says and Kuroo blinks once, and then again before breaking a huge smile.

“I mean, I may be an idiot, but you’re the one who’s dating me, so what does that say about you?” Kuroo asks, chuckling, and Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and almost stands up but Kuroo pulls him down, on top of him, and crosses his arms around his neck, kissing him on the mouth again and again and again.

The cat is alive, and it means everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Feedback is always more than welcome, and If you'd like to see me yelling about yearning, Kuroo and confessions, you can always find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ffskuroo)!!


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